Back to the old self

Everytime I go home it happens: I relax.

This is both good and bad. Good, because I really just am myself; nothing is really held back (although that is even changing now; I think I am more myself in different ways around other people). And it's bad, because myself isn't always the best person for me to be. Let me explain. Myself is selfish and anal retentive and bossy, and my brothers just seem to bring out these fine qualities in me. For instance, last night we were trying to put together a song for Sunday (all of my family will be taking part in this song; the Von Ferrins, as it were). I was so rude to my brothers because they wouldn't let me figure out the chords (we were starting from scratch, so we had no chords to work with yet). I mean, there's got to be a place for being annoyed with little siblings, because you can all attest (well, most of you) to how annoying little siblings can be, but there's got to be a place you get to where you don't let all of that annoyance show. I haven't figured it out yet. So, last night, I would say I reverted back to my old self. People in Columbia don't usually see this side of me, because I'm not around people who annoy me this much. (Now I need to say this: I love my brothers, so don't take this the wrong way. This rant is more about my attitude than what they are doing.)

This is just an ongoing struggle that crops up pretty much every time I go home. Argh!