Traveling Hobo Musician

Smoothie Winner

2012-02-02T08:29:00.002-05:00

I've been experimenting with smoothies lately in order to up my calcium/protein intake. I finally found a winner this morning:

1/2 cup Dannon plain yogurt

1/2 cup orange juice

1/2 cup fresh chopped mango

1/2 sliced banana

1 tsp honey

Pulverize that in a blender, and you're good to go!

Note: You can add some ground flax seed for extra fiber/protein.

Barley Vegetable Soup with Sausage

2011-02-12T17:10:00.002-05:00

Here's a recipe I swiped off the back of the barley box (modified a bit):

1/2 pound hot Italian turkey sausage
1/2 cup chopped onion
2 cloves garlic

In a 4-qt saucepan or Dutch oven, brown meat. Add onion and garlic; cook until onion is tender.

5 cups water
1 (14.5 oz) can diced tomatoes (with juice)
3/4 cup Quaker quick barley
1/2 cup sliced fennel
1/2 cup sliced carrots
4 beef boullion cubes
1/2 tsp dried basil, crushed
1 bay leaf
Dash of crushed red pepper

Stir in ingredients. Cover; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.

1/2 cup frozen corn

Add frozen corn; cook about 10 minutes or until vegetables are tender.

Makes 8 (1 cup) servings.

Garden Fresh Tomato Soup

2011-01-26T13:32:00.001-05:00

Best tomato soup I've tasted...blame it on the cloves :)

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Garden-Fresh-Tomato-Soup/Detail.aspx

Fresh Tomato Salsa

2010-12-21T09:18:00.001-05:00

8-10 large tomatoes (pour boiling water over them to remove skins)
1 bunch of cilantro
2 medium onions
6 hot peppers (jalapenos, etc, seeds removed - wear gloves!)
garlic to taste (a lot in my case)
salt to taste
basil to taste
2 tbsp sugar

We chopped everything and then threw it in the blender until it was very fine. This amount of tomatoes will make a lot, so maybe you want to do half.

Here's where the musician part comes in...

2010-10-11T13:20:00.002-04:00

For the first time in world history, I'm doing a show on Friday night, from 7-9pm at Vanilla's coffee shop on Plainfield. It's in the MC Sports plaza :)

Tomato Soup

2010-09-12T14:50:00.001-04:00

Found a fabulous recipe for tomato soup:

http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/garden-fresh-tomato-soup/Detail.aspx

My husband, who isn't usually a fan of tomato soup, requested that I make more of this one for him!

Watermelon Gazpacho

2010-07-26T08:19:00.003-04:00

If the idea of cold soup weirds you out, you can use this as a salsa!

Ingredients:

5 cup watermelon, cubed (about half of a small watermelon)
1 large tomato, pureed
1/2 of a bell pepper, minced
1 small cucumber, seeded and minced
1 small jalapeno pepper, minced (remove seeds for less heat)
2 Tbsp red onion, minced
1 tsp red wine vinegar
2 Tbsp unsweetened lime juice
2 Tbsp mint leaves
1 Tbsp olive oil
Feta cheese, crumbled

Instructions:

1. Puree 4 cups watermelon in blender until smooth. Transfer puree to large bowl.

2. Add remaining 1 cup diced watermelon and the rest of the ingredients; stir to combine.

3. Cover gazpacho and refrigerate until cold, at least 1 hour and up to 4 hours.

4. Divide gazpacho among bowls; top with 2 Tbsp crumbled feta cheese.

Note: This makes four servings, at 3 Points (Weight Watchers) a serving.

Italian Rigatoni Casserole

2010-07-03T10:37:00.002-04:00

Forewarning: This makes a lot of pasta! My family is visiting this weekend, and the six of us were only able to eat half of the dish.

Ingredients:

24 oz rigatoni noodles, cooked and drained
2 cans (14 oz) tomato sauce
1 lemon, squeezed
3 links turkey sausage
1/2 small onion, diced
1 medium zucchini
3 mushrooms
3 cloves garlic, pressed or minced
basil, salt, pepper, crushed red pepper to taste
1 (8 oz) bag mozzarella cheese (divided into two parts)

Instructions:

1. Saute sausage & onions; set aside.

2. Saute zucchini, mushrooms and garlic; set aside.

3. In a large bowl, combine noodles, sausage mixture, and vegetable mixture with tomato sauce and seasonings. Add 1/2 of the mozzarella cheese. At this point you can either refrigerate the mixture too bake later, or bake immediately.

4. Scoop mixture into a 9x13 baking dish. Top with remaining mozzarella cheese.

5. Bake at 350° for 45 min to an 1 hour (depending on if you have refrigerated).

Strawberry-Lime Creamy Cheese Pie

2010-06-26T17:30:00.004-04:00

This recipe is a shout out to my friend Teri Miles, who made me my first creamy cheese pie. I have altered the recipe slightly...

Ingredients

1 9-in graham cracker crust
1 8oz block cream cheese (room temp.)
1 14oz can sweetened condensed milk
1/2 c lime juice
1 tsp vanilla
1 quart strawberries, sliced
2 tbsp sugar

Instructions

1. Beat cream cheese with hand mixer for 3-5 minutes, until smooth.

2. Add condensed milk slowly, while mixing.

3. Mix in lime juice and vanilla.

4. In a separate bowl, mix the strawberries and sugar together.

5. Pour the cream mixture into the graham cracker crust and refrigerate for at least two hours.

6. Top with strawberries and serve.

Eggplant with Mozzarella & Marinara

2010-06-17T19:55:00.003-04:00

This was a winner at my house tonight...

Ingredients:

1 medium-sized eggplant

1/4 cup breadcrumbs

1 egg

1/4 olive oil

1/3 cup shredded mozzarella cheese (I used smoked mozza)

3 c wide egg noodles

for the sauce:

1/4 med-sized onion, diced

3 cloves garlic, diced

1 Tbsp lemon juice

1/4 c dry red wine (I used cabernet sauvignon)

1 15 oz. can tomato sauce

basil, salt, black pepper, red pepper to taste

Instructions:

1. Peel eggplant and cut lengthwise into 1/2 inch thickness strips. Lay on paper towels and salt both sides. (This will drain excess water from the eggplant and make it easier to fry.)

2. While eggplant is draining, saute onions and garlic in 1 tsp olive oil until onions are translucent. Add red wine and lemon juice; cook until wine has reduced by half. Add remainder of sauce ingredients. Bring to a boil, then simmer until everything else is done cooking.

3. Cook noodles.

4. Heat oil in deep frying pan. Pat eggplant dry; dredge eggplant in egg first, then bread crumbs. Fry that eggplant! When removing eggplant from frying pan, sprinkle with cheese and put in the oven to keep warm. Feeds 4 (or 3 hungry people).

5. To serve: Layer noodles, cheese, eggplant, sauce and more cheese. Enjoy!

Deep-Fried Tofu Tacos

2010-06-03T19:01:00.003-04:00

Just made this recipe tonight, and me and the husband love it.

Ingredients:

for the tofu:

1/2 block firm tofu

1 tsp taco seasoning

2 tbsp flour

1 tbsp corn starch

oil for frying

for the sauce:

1 tbsp adobo salsa

3 tbsp mayo

1 tsp taco seasoning

pinch of salt

juice of 1/2 lime

1 tbsp honey

suggestions for the other taco ingredients:

lettuce, tomatoes, bell pepper, onions, cilantro, queso fresco or any other cheese

Steps:

1. Drain tofu (see video for details), and chop into 1/2 inch cubes.

2. Heat oil in a tall saucepan (enough oil to cover the tofu).

3. Mix corn starch, flour, and taco seasoning.

4. Dredge tofu in dry mixture and deep fry.

5. Stir together adobo salsa, mayo, taco seasoning, lime, and honey.

6. Chop other taco ingredients.

7. Assemble tacos and enjoy!

Christian Radio = Caedmon's Call

2008-02-29T18:02:00.002-05:00

I hate to be a generalist, but I've noticed something about Christian radio. I

wasn't sure why I had been conditioned to expect to hear Caedmon's Call every time I turned on the radio.

And then I realized it's because I do hear them every time I turn on the radio. I literally turned to WCSG (or whatever it is here), and there they were. At first I didn't think it was them, thinking it was just a wannabe Caedmon's band, but the announcer proved me wrong. It was one of their new ones ;)

I just think it's ironic, considering CC's roots. They started off as the cool college band (even before I got into them in late high school). They were kind of fringe. Now, they're mainstream Christian easy listening. How did this happen?

On a side note, I heard the local GR Christian radio station talking about an interview with Laura Storey the other day. I thought that was cool.

I need Jesus

2008-01-11T08:44:00.000-05:00

It's been a rough morning so far. I didn't get out the door when I was supposed to, but I did have an opportunity to tell Jesus how much I need him. I think that's a good excuse...

I love my husband.

welcome to the no-fault insurance state

2007-06-20T10:59:00.000-04:00

guess what i've been doing this morning? researching how michigan is a no-fault insurance state. i've never lived in one of these states before. i did however find the correlation between being a no-fault insurance state and having the highest insurance premiums of anywhere i've ever lived. since the insurance agency considers no one person at fault in an accident, each person's insurance only covers themselves. that means that all the normal stuff (medical, work loss, etc) is covered for yourself, but any damage to your car is NOT covered by the other driver if they are "at fault" according to the police report. that makes it more of a good idea to have comp and collision on your car so that damages can be paid for if someone else hits you. therefore, if your insurance company pays for you when ANY accident occurs, they are paying for more accidents and thus your premiums are higher.

yeah, i'm sure you wanted to know all of that. i think it's kind of interesting. i also needed to re-gurgitate it to make sense of it to myself.

in other news, we are still looking for jobs. i have an interview with Meijer on Friday for an admin asst position in an IT department. sounds pretty good to me...

Still on the job hunt...

2007-06-12T13:16:00.000-04:00

Well, it's not easy to get a job. Ian and I have been sending out resumes like crazy, with not a lot of response. It seems like everything is on hold until we have jobs. Oh well, at least we get to spend a lot of quality time together! We spend a good portion of the day job searching, and another portion continuing to set up camp.

Good news: we went to a small group last night with mostly young parents in it, and really had a fun time. We felt very accepted (even though we don't have kids!), and I'm hoping that we will be able to connect with these people. One couple even is inviting us over for dinner. That meant a lot to me. The small group is going to host a big kickball game in July for the church. We're going to play against another small group with mostly people our age :)

In other news: found a cool Oriental market today on the way home from the chiropractor (a visit which only cost me $5 in Aldi's Mac and Cheese because of a local food drive!), and the market had lots of rice noodles, Asian spices, etc for pretty cheap. Oh, the resources...

Anyways, I'm still enjoying it here.

yay, posting!

2007-06-04T13:54:00.000-04:00

I know, it's high time for me to post. this is the first opportunity i've had because we don't have the old wireless in our apartment yet. oh, by the way, we got an apartment. ian's aunt and uncle are renting it to us for a killer deal. we're in the city of grand rapids to boot! we've got tons of space for entertaining :)

ian and i are currently looking for jobs - had one interview so far. anybody know a counseling firm in GR that needs an assistant?

in other news, i like this city. it's been a little hot, of late, but that's abnormal for this area, and for once i'm not the only one complaining about the heat! i also like the feel of living in a city; i mean, i guess cola is considered a city, but i couldn't really tell... and i like the people here; there are actually gas stations where you don't have to pre-pay!!

i think i'll leave you on that note; happy surfing!

It's getting close

2007-04-11T12:43:00.000-04:00

Ian and I are going soon to give our apartment complex a month's notice that we'll be moving out. Yep, it's getting close. We're planning on making the trip to MI around May 16th. I'm about to start the process of exit paperwork at CIU, and we're starting to sell off our furniture-stuff. It's a reality.

You know, I didn't think I'd last this long in SC. When I came here, I was planning on staying for a year (ONE year) and getting my Bible Certificate. Well, one year turned into 2 years, turned into 4 years, turned into the present 6 years plus a marriage, plus a BS in Music, plus a lot of changes in my thinking. And, I wouldn't have guessed that after spending 6 years in SC I would move to MI. I'm excited about moving, but realizing it's going to mean all that instability all over again that automatically comes with a move. I think I've got it easier this time though. When I came to SC, I didn't know A SOUL. Where I'm going to this time, I know my husband (at least I think I do :), my new parents, and some of my husband's friends and extended family. That's a whole heck of a lot better than the last couple of moves I've made. I have to warn you all, I am horrible at keeping in touch with people I can't see. But, I believe I will continue to blog, at least (if I can keep up with that!).

Anyways, enough rambling about what's actually going on in my life. I don't have anything clever to say today, so I'm going to do some work now...

Look-alikes of the year?

2007-04-05T12:58:00.000-04:00

Coincidence? I think not. Perhaps twins separated at birth...
Can you tell which is Rob Bell and which is Chesterton Bennington (lead singer of Linkin Park)?

Swan Lake

2007-03-10T23:45:00.000-05:00

So, I saw the second ballet of my life tonight. I didn't fall asleep! (As I am notorious for when I am in the nosebleeds of the Koger center...) As I said to a friend tonight, "I'm not sure how I feel about ballets."

First, let me make it clear that it was beautiful, and the people who were performing were amazingly trained in their art.

But, there was no live orchestra, so already the ballet started out missing a dimension.

Here's my dilemma: you're working with classical music (of which the beauty can be appreciated by moderns and post-moderns, but it does not affect any of us the way in which that style used to affect people), and that classical style music is the background for a style of dance which is no longer popular. It made me think of a museum - artifacts on display. It was educational - infact, I wish I knew more about ballet so that I could have appreciated it more, but I don't think that people can still expect ballet to be inspirational the way it once was. Is it a dying art? (my question partially stemming from the fact that the Koger was less than half full; the smallest amount of people I have ever seen at a major performance in that room) Will it become like Latin? Studied but no longer spoken?

Please don't hate me if you're a ballet dancer.

Oh, and I also found out tonight on Wikipedia that the correct term for a male ballet dancer is "male ballet dancer". Check it out...

Also, the people that live in the country of Andorra have the longest average lifespan of anyone in the world, and some of the lowest taxes of anyone in the world.

Webb/McCracken Concert

2007-03-08T23:45:00.000-05:00

Well, when Ian left I hit the road running hard. I haven't been this busy in who knows how long. It's almost twelve, and I'm still awake making pecan bars - yummm...

Just got home from a Derek Webb/Sandra McCracken concert at the Watershed bookstore in Lexington. It was a bit crowded, but the music was well worth it. I have two observations about the crowd though...

1. I wonder if people my age are really trying to find the truth that Derek Webb sings about, or if they just use his songs to feed the rebel spirit they are already cultivating. I think Derek's truth-speaking comes from maturity. I may be cynical, but I hear a lot of people passing these ideas around, but not living like the ideas are truth. Who do you know who actually cares about the land? Or who lives in a house with two other couples and four single guys so they can be free to use their money in other ways? Or who really questions the church and its new laws?

2. For some people in the room, I wonder if Derek was just too much for them. I could almost hear it in their heads: strike 1, Derek saying that he doesn't like Christian radio because it's only half the truth; strike 2, including the infamous word "damn" in song lyrics; strike 3, "I am a whore, I do confess..."; and possibly a strike 4, daring to sing a song about protesting war. I myself do not consider any of these things strikes. If anything, for me they show that Derek is not afraid to question anything, and therefore is not afraid of the truth when he finds it.

Hubby is leaving for Italy!

2007-03-06T15:48:00.000-05:00

Well, the day is almost here. Ian's about to head off to Italy...without me :( He's leaving on Thursday for 12 days. He's going to have a blast. Between Venice and the Uffizi and the Vatican and Tuscan countryside, I think he'll be all right. I get to taste what it is like to be single again. My first time in over a year. Can't say I miss it much...well, I don't miss being single, but I am looking forward to seeing my girlz.

Will the real Betty Crocker please stand up?

2007-01-24T09:43:00.000-05:00

I think I found my calling in life! JK, but I have discovered that I really do like cooking. I enjoy planning out meals (that's the nerd in me), and being able to research different recipes ahead of time so that I will actually have all the special ingredients I need at the time when I want to cook something. Currently I'm experimenting with curry. Made chicken curry last night, and the husband approved, so that's the important part :) Next is fish. My family never really ate fish growing up, so I'm taking tips from Betty Crocker, WHO, by the way, was not a real person. Did you know that? Yeah, that's one of those random facts that I know. It was just a marketing thing. I'm sorry if anyone's world just went crumbling down; I know mine did when I found out. For those of you who want proof, you might find this interesting...

"Q: General Mills didn’t keep it a secret that Betty Crocker wasn’t a real woman, but weren’t they evasive?
MARKS [Interviewee]: Absolutely in the beginning. Betty Crocker was presented as a real person in the ’20s and ’30s. If someone were to write to ask for her picture, they had a set response that Betty didn’t like to have her photograph taken. But starting in the late ’30s, they made the decision to use her but personify her less. (Finding Betty Crocker)"

Freeze-Dried Strawberries

2007-01-20T10:14:00.000-05:00

Yay, I can start blogging again, because I have internet again at my house! I'm in communications-heaven. I haven't had internet in a year. I know, some of you are gasping, but I just didn't want to pay for it. I have since decided paying for internet is kind of like paying your water bill. You just do it.

Anyways, I am enjoying married life, and I am greatly enjoying the fact that it is Saturday and I got to sleep in this morning. I also really enjoyed the cereal I ate for breakfast this morning. I got it at the Dollar Store for $2.50/box (seems like the wrong price to me...), and it has lots of freeze-dried strawberries in it. Yum.

Okay, bye now.

fall...winter

2006-11-15T08:57:00.000-05:00

all the leaves fell off today
i swear they were all there yesterday

grey skies
grey atmosphere

traveling

2006-10-14T19:08:00.000-04:00

today we are in pa, yesterday we were in sc
what a phenomenon

enjoying time with family and frizends, and tomorrow a shower :)
shopping and EATING my mom's food and planning for a certain day in December

i need some new music to listen to - got any ideas?

i've had enough car drama over the last few weeks to last me a couple of years
but yay for dodge chargers

Yay for completion

2006-10-02T08:32:00.000-04:00

My cd is done and I have copies, and I'm selling them for $7. I also hope to play some upcoming shows in Columbia.

If anyone wants to hear my music, I just set up a band myspace. It only has one song right now, but more will come...

www.myspace.com/genevievenelson

The monotony...

2006-09-13T17:02:00.000-04:00

mrar....

The unexpected...

2006-07-06T20:30:00.000-04:00

I'm freaking engaged!!!

Sleep is NOT over-rated

2006-06-26T15:52:00.000-04:00

can't sleep - roll over
roll back - mind sobers
tomorrow drones on and on and on
in my head as the minute hand takes on
the form of a man who is torturing me
like a rattling fan or a faucet that leaks
closing my eyes but my mind can't be closed
thinking about how fast eight hours goes

Posting images as background on Blogger

2006-06-22T13:43:00.000-04:00

So, does anyone know how to post an image as a background for Blogger?

...

Never mind. I just figured it out. I was working on it all afternoon yesterday, and I sat down today and figured it out in the first 15min. Sometimes you just need a fresh pair of eyes.

My first cd

2006-06-15T12:39:00.000-04:00

For all of you who are wondering (and read my blog) or have heard the rumors, my cd is done. If you would like a copy please let me know. If you have a place for me to play my stuff, let me know too ;)

Moving in the room

2006-06-13T15:37:00.000-04:00

You are

You just
are

And you're moving in the room
Beauty is moving
And I am crying in the center
At my table
Spiritual experience is not dead
Though You are rare

Je-sus, Je-sus, Je-sus, Jesus

Iridescent illuminator of the world
King of the vast delta of my emotions

Stay forever

i am four walls

2006-06-07T13:04:00.000-04:00

i am four walls
and a flat ceiling
my walls are perpendicular
to my ceiling
and my fixed floor
vertical lines running in perfect symmetry

i am solid
come in...with permission
interrupt...at my leisure

i am decorated
symmetrical 2-D boxes
propped by straight nails
tilt if you dare

i am four walls
i am in control

This is taking my natural personality to an extreme. If I had not and do not continue to allow God to change me as a person, this could be what my life looks like. I like straight lines; I like order; and sometimes I like them at the expense of other things - other more important things - like people.

This also, somewhat accurately, describes the office I work in every day...

the phenomenon of trendy clothing stores

2006-06-02T12:12:00.000-04:00

yesterday i walked into new york and a company of strangers greeted me with appraising stares. the gap between myself and them was subtly expressed by their glance from my mid-section to the clothing rack. the abercrombies and the fitches of the place had never encountered this gauntlet of glances. khakis zeros and ones graced the hips of those americans with eagle eyes fixed on me. jeans fashioned old and navy-colored taunted me from thin shelves. i didn't belong here; apparently i would have to go elsewhere to find the place where trend and reality coincide.

For those of you who are wondering, I am not bitter about these trendy stores, or the fact that their sizes do not fit most normal women. I am simply stating one of the ironies of life: we tend to live in extremes (trend and unreality vs. out-of-date and reality). This affects more areas of our lives than clothes-shopping. Trendiness is not just for the ones who can fit into the size 2 jeans. Up-to-dateness is not just for the young. I'm not saying that everyone needs to be "trendy" per se, but I might be saying that everyone needs to be up-to-date. I haven't decided yet. Trends can tell you something about culture. We need to pay attention to trends. Sometimes trends are more than wanting to change a few standards. Sometimes trends are a complete change in worldview.

Blow up the credit card companies

2006-06-01T16:50:00.000-04:00

Re-set the debt to zero
Re-make the man - a hero
All you girls in twill pants and ties
Stand in your rows and sing "open the eyes..."

Fight for your backgrounds
The sports car? The mountains?
Waving white flags for
Your anger, your justice

The plastic Gucci [man].

Hi-ho; hi-ho

2006-05-31T08:25:00.000-04:00

You know how there's just some people you don't necessarily want to see first thing when you get into work? Yeah, well I wasn't so lucky today. And then you know how you can make the decision to either let their comments roll off your back or let them ring in your ears and cry? Yeah, well I feel like doing the latter. Cry, cry, cry. That's what I did last night. I had a migraine and I cried. And it was my last night with Ian, for a while. Suck.

The authority of whom?

2006-05-02T10:01:00.000-04:00

There once was a man
With integrity at heart
Who cut loose the bindings
He had let himself be tied into.

Some thought he was crazy
Some thought he was wise
But all that he sought was to be
Condoned in his authority's eyes.

The authority of whom?

A visit to the trees'-knees

2006-03-25T19:58:00.000-05:00

Got to go to the Congaree National Forest today, otherwise known as the Congaree swamp. My favorite part of the park is the deck that spawns off of the boardwalk and overlooks the lake. We got to watch the turtles bobbing in the water and sunning on the logs. My second favorite part of the park is the trees' knees. The cypress trees' roots stick up out of the murkiness that surrounds the bottom of the trees (and basically everything in the swamp), and they are called knees, but I prefer to call them gnomes. So, I got to introduce Ian to the gnome-folk today. It was a gorgeous day-perfect for being outside. Just to make sure y'all don't make the same mistake we did, check the map for directions first. We ended up in Orangeburg today because we went too far down I-26, when we were supposed to take I-77 to Bluff Road. We weren't lost. We just stopped at a gas station, looked at a map, and took the scenic route through the corn fields. If you're reading this, and you're not a big fan of South Carolina in general, you should definitely check out Congaree before you leave this state. Swamps are the in thing...

Who wears the spiritual pants?

2006-03-23T15:15:00.000-05:00

What does spiritual leadership/headship look like in a marriage? Ian and I were trying to figure this out last night. What is the man's role, and what is the woman's role? Obviously, the woman doesn't just sit by and let the guy be the spiritual one, and do nothing. But I think there is a difference in the roles; it's not exactly equal. Those of you who are married, what have you experienced in your marriages? Those who are unmarried, what are your thoughts on it, and what have you seen in your parents?

Me flittering around

2006-03-07T07:07:00.000-05:00

Well, I've had tons of stuff to blog about, but now that I actually get a chance to do it, nothing comes to mind. Figures... It's been too long since I've posted. But I've been writing. New songs, new quasi-poetry. I need to keep writing. I had a great weekend with various friends, and I'm really looking forward to going to Michigan this coming weekend with Ian. I can't wait to see his home and meet everybody there.

I would write more, but I have so much in my heart that it is overflowing beyond the blog...

This place where I live

2006-02-19T14:59:00.000-05:00

I really want to get in on the music scene in Columbia. I feel like I’ve been here for so long, but not really been here.

Are you doing anything?

2006-02-17T09:25:00.000-05:00

Stretch me out
Till I am thin
Not so I look good
But so I look real
And have to trust

Get me down
Let me wonder at
The sadness
You let me writhe
In inner angst

Give me vision
Make me discontent
So I can better listen
And be ready
For it when it comes

You're doing something

I'm better today

2006-02-15T13:15:00.000-05:00

almost dry eyes. i cried this morning, but it was over the Lord's goodness and not issues in life :)

i love music. i want to do music - that's what i want to do with my life.

maybe i should say i want to be a musician. i like the "be" word more than the "do" word.

i am discontent in my jobs, because i really want to be doing music. will i ever be content doing it on the side? i don't think that's reason enough to cop out on my jobs now, just because sometimes they're hard, because i really am learning, and i'm trying to learn being.

maybe someday Passion will pick me up and ask me to sing for them...

Crying over spilled milk

2006-02-14T12:26:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'm crying over what the old adage tells me not to cry over. I don't think I've ever cried in front of my boss before, but I did today.

I had a project
It was my own
I gave it my heart
The seeds they were sown
For a beautiful work
Or so I thought
Unknowingly feeding myself
To the flock
Of faceless participants
Each wanting say
In my project they said
Was going astray

Now it's still my project
And mine it will stay
At least in the stated-
Idealized way
My heart still is beating
My mind is still ticked
But sooner or later
This mountain will shift
People will learn
To trust one another
And push for the change
Push with me brother

Differences alike

2006-02-09T21:56:00.000-05:00

The conversation went something like this...

Genevieve: "Ian, you're a punk."
Ian: "You're a princess."
Genevieve: "That's going in my blog."

Yo tengo un novio nuevo

2006-02-07T12:14:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have not heard, I recently acquired a boyfriend. Yes, Friday night he took me out on the most romantic date I have ever been on, and asked me if I would be his girlfriend. Call it juvenile, but we're both pretty smitten. If you want details, please ask; I love telling the story.

A stumbling block

2006-01-28T09:10:00.000-05:00

What do you think it means to be a "stumbling block" to someone? And how far do we go in order not to be a stumbling block for another person? I mean, do we give up everything questionable, just in case someone has a problem with that certain action? You can't know someone has a problem with what you're doing unless they confront you on it. How can I be responsible for what people might possibly be thinking? If someone tells me they have a problem with what I am doing, and it is causing a spiritual roadblock for them, I will gladly stop for that person's sake, but am I to not do the thing just because it might be a spiritual roadblock to someone that hasn't told me it is?

I was pondering these things by the fireplace last night around 1:30am (I guess that would be this morning), and I couldn't come to a conclusion, except I think I disagree with Mr. Bedell. That kind of scares me, because he is a very wise man. Maybe I'm just rebellious.

Update on my life

2006-01-25T07:16:00.000-05:00

My heart's not very pretty when it's naked.

I'm glad people still like me.

I'm glad Jesus liked me before I realized how my heart looks, and when he already did.

Got foreign countries on the brain...

2006-01-07T00:04:00.000-05:00

I guess no one really wanted to talk about sex, judging from the response to my last blog :)

Oh well, different subject. Tonight I went to see the movie Memoirs of a Geisha. I guess that's partly why I say I got foreign countries on the brain. There's also this song by Fleming & John that I've been listening to that has quite an Indian flair. I know, different foreign countries and different cultures. There's so many places I want to go. And you can't extricate the people from the places, so I want to get involved in the lives of the people that live in those places too.

Maybe it all comes back to connecting. Maybe I just want to connect with the people and the environment and with God halfway around the world. I kind of like the sound of that. Anybody got free plane tickets??

What does sexuality mean?

2005-12-31T17:33:00.000-05:00

Well, I had finally heard enough about Rob Bell and had some extra time on my hands, so I went looking to get my hands on one of his sermons. Today, I listened to a sermon in which he talked about what sexuality really is. He said it's more than the physical act that happens between a man and a woman. That I have no trouble wrapping my mind around, because obviously the mind the spirit/emotions and the body are all a part of sexuality. But Rob was saying that sexuality is us trying to get re-connected. At the fall we were dis-connected: from God, from other people, from our environment. The root word "sex" means to be disconnected/severed (ie: dissect, sector...), so that's what he bases the rest of what he says on. My spirit echoed a lot of what he was saying, about how we feel disconnected from people - I know my relationships are not ideal; they are not as full as they could be; we don't love perfectly. I definitely feel the disconnect from God. Rob talked about the end of Revelation where these three disconnects will be reconnected. It's a great passage (one of the last chapters), where it talks about the tree that heals the nations. I wish I was there.

I'm just interested to see what you guys think about this - if you've ever thought about sexuality in this way. You can also download the sermon if you go to the website for Mars Hill.

My home church is awesome

2005-12-24T22:38:00.000-05:00

Every time I come home to my parent's house in PA, and I go to church, I am surprised at how emerging the church really is (and they don't even know it). Tonight was our Christmas Eve service. If I was at Gateway, it would probably have been much more professional and done-up (not that there's anything wrong with that). But here, at Cornerstone Community Church in Sellersville, PA, we kicked off the service with a ska song that was about the birth of Jesus Christ. It was great! Now, I'm not a terribly big ska fan. A lot of my friends said they went through a "ska phase" and now they're over it, but the fact of the matter is, it was played over the sound system at the beginning of a Christmas Eve service. Hooray for abnormality! (The service also closed with a country song...)

Anyways, I just appreciate the way that this church is unafraid to be different and to love whoever walks through the doors of this Methodist camp's cafeteria that we meet in. I appreciate the fact that I can get up on Sunday morning or whenever and suck at whatever I'm singing, and still get positive feedback from people because they heard the words, or they just appreciate someone having the guts to get up front and do that. Now, I don't ever intend to get up in front of people and totally suck at my songs, but it happens sometimes. Tonight we had crazy feedback in the monitors, and the service was a bit more unorganized than I am comfortable with, but in that environment, it didn't matter. People were there to be with other people and Jesus, and nothing was going to get in the way of that.

I think that for all my critical eyeing of the way the church does things today, I might actually be becoming less judgmental. My goal is to become less concerned about what goes on, and more concerned about why it goes on. I think that's why some churches/church services rile me up so much, because I think that their motives are wrong, or misguided. And some things about churches/church services that rile other people up don't really bother me, because I think the heart behind it or the reason it's being done is good.

Well, I'm going to bed. Tonight was a night full of thinking, and tomorrow is the celebration of Jesus' birthday, so I should get some rest for that. I kind of wish I could get away for a while with Jesus, but I'm not sure how that would happen...

Merry Christmas

Back to the old self

2005-12-23T07:44:00.000-05:00

Everytime I go home it happens: I relax.

This is both good and bad. Good, because I really just am myself; nothing is really held back (although that is even changing now; I think I am more myself in different ways around other people). And it's bad, because myself isn't always the best person for me to be. Let me explain. Myself is selfish and anal retentive and bossy, and my brothers just seem to bring out these fine qualities in me. For instance, last night we were trying to put together a song for Sunday (all of my family will be taking part in this song; the Von Ferrins, as it were). I was so rude to my brothers because they wouldn't let me figure out the chords (we were starting from scratch, so we had no chords to work with yet). I mean, there's got to be a place for being annoyed with little siblings, because you can all attest (well, most of you) to how annoying little siblings can be, but there's got to be a place you get to where you don't let all of that annoyance show. I haven't figured it out yet. So, last night, I would say I reverted back to my old self. People in Columbia don't usually see this side of me, because I'm not around people who annoy me this much. (Now I need to say this: I love my brothers, so don't take this the wrong way. This rant is more about my attitude than what they are doing.)

This is just an ongoing struggle that crops up pretty much every time I go home. Argh!

Rules Poem

2005-12-18T16:05:00.000-05:00

This poem has five rules:
(I like having a box, because then you have something to think outside of)

1. The poem must have eight lines
2. The lines must have eight syllables/six syllables every other line
3. It must be melancholy in nature
4. It must contain the word "pink"
5. It must be told from the first person point-of-view

I met a man who saw just blue
His sad and worried face
Revealed the years marked by that hue
He sang me a lament

He sang to me, “She saw just pink”
Complete but not for long
Her last note left in purple ink
He sang me a lament

Where's Jesus?

2005-12-17T09:22:00.000-05:00

No, this is not a rampage against the materialistic evils of America at Christmastime. I just want to write about my dream.

Last night I dreamt that I was at a conference. I was going to seminars, meeting people, and making friends with the gas station attendant (she hated my guts to begin with).

Well, we had a central location at a cabin in the woods (I guess this was all at a retreat center and the surrounding few miles). Jesus was with us. I don't remember what he looked like, or that there was anything particularly wierd about him being with us. But we all remembered him leaving.

We were going back to the cabin one day, running. When we got there, I kind of ran ahead of everyone through the house. I was looking for Jesus, because I just had this premonition that he was gone. Sure enough, I couldn't find him, so when I got back to the others I said, "Where's Jesus?"

Then someone pointed at me and said, "There he is."

Profound. Sometimes my dreams hold simple and great spiritual truths (sometimes my dreams are just retarded and they don't make any sense). Jesus is only kind of gone. I see him in you, and hopefully you see him in me.

Re-incarnation

2005-12-15T12:56:00.000-05:00

You Were a Giraffe

You are a high achiever - able to reach things others can't.A great communicator, you are good at getting past superficialities.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

A storybook evening

2005-12-13T12:36:00.000-05:00

Last night I went exploring with a friend. We traipsed through the woods behind my house and talked about how fairies and gnomes lived in the ivy that carpeted the ground and the dry fallen trees the we walked across. Then, we walked across the street to the old folks' facility. We had the place to ourselves (outside), so we stood looking at a willow tree reminiscing about our childhoods and wishing that the tendrils of the tree came down to the ground, so we could hide in them. Our travels led us around the backside of the facility, and we walked next door to the medical facilities lane. After scrambling over gigantic rocks, and gazing at Orion, we came across a residential area, and sat down beside a picturesque pond. We had to duck down when a plane flew overhead, lest it see us, and be made aware of our presence on a strangers' lawn. We talked and laughed and wished we had a little boat. Finally, I said something too loud, and the dog across the pond started barking. We stood up and ran back down the road we had come from, simply for the thrill of pretending like we were running away.

I felt like a kid, but an adult-kid. Now I can appreciate being a kid. Thanks, Ian, for bringing out the kid in me.

Writer's blog

2005-12-10T19:25:00.000-05:00

I'm in a dumb pun mood. Ever been in one of those? Okay, I don't have much else to say. My roommates are talking about massaging butts. I think it's time to go...

An analogy for Eph 2:8-9

2005-12-08T07:15:00.000-05:00

Those of you at my Bible study already heard this, but I wanted to remember it.

You don't do good works in order to be or maintain status as a Jesus-follower, but once you become a Jesus-follower, you just do good works. It's like this: "When a caterpillar turns into a butterfly, it flies." It's not a matter of flying in order to stay a butterfly, and it's certainly not a matter of flying to become a butterfly, but upon becoming a butterfly, I would imagine wings would give quite the incentive to fly.

More fun with words...

2005-12-07T08:40:00.000-05:00

Check out this website: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sniglet for more fun with words.

What's in a word?

2005-12-06T12:43:00.000-05:00

Words can mean so much, or so little. I was talking with my friend Wil last night about words. He said that it doesn’t really matter which word you use; what matters is what your meaning behind the word. While I partially agree with that, I think that is a dangerous way to conversate because word meanings are a bit subjective these days. When I say the word “bastard” or “damn”, does something just rise up within you and feel uncomfortable? I know for some of you it won’t, because you’ve learned that a word is what you make it, but even for myself, something inside of me is still like, “Are you sure you should say that?” I’m not here to say that we should all go around spouting off cuss words and various other questionable words in any context, but I’m just frustrated that people will take words that you say and immediately define them in their own context without asking you what you meant by them. Sometimes it is clear what people mean when they use these words (I don’t think anyone misinterprets the meaning of “asshole”), but other times, it is not so clear and clarification should be made before jumping to conclusions. Anyways, if I ever say anything you guys don’t understand, please ask me, because I’m probably just trying to get a point across with a strong word.

How I feel about the church

2005-12-01T07:10:00.000-05:00

I think God wants us to be "the church", not the ones who "go to church".

This morning, I was thinking about the different things God has created, and I got to the church. Then, I wondered if the church really looks like what he meant for it to look like. In many mainstream churches today, I just can't see it. I see the church in some of my friends; I see pockets of the church throughout America and overseas, but I also see a lot of programming and people "going to church". Don't get me wrong, programming is not bad--sometimes it really helps to accomplish our purposes. But sometimes it hinders our purposes.

Purpose of the church? Togetherness--we could all worship God separately, and we could all hole up and live our lives separately, but God wanted us to do these things together. Togetherness doesn't mean going to a building (old and steepled or new with an attractive sign), necessarily, but it means sharing the time when we sing and rejoice and lament to God; sharing the time when we eat (this is not exclusive to pot-lucks, although I am a fan of them); sharing our finances. It's hard to live with people, but that's just part of becoming more like Jesus. He lived with people too. Feel free to disagree or agree with my opinion on the purpose of the church. It's probably not complete yet, but I think togetherness is a huge factor.

Settling in

2005-11-29T12:33:00.000-05:00

Sink in
Settle down
Into life--
Different life
Bigger things?
Better things?
Older things
Transitional tendency
Achieving comfortability

This is kind of how I feel about transitioning into the working world. I'm starting to settle in, and be used to it. I find that's how I handle most of life. I just get used to things. I didn't know if I would like working full time, but I've just gotten used to it. I think I don't like change at the time, but it doesn't take me long to adapt. Just call me chameleon.

It's early

2005-11-22T06:47:00.000-05:00

Oh, the wee hours of the morning. We have a bit of a love/hate relationship. Some mornings I hate getting up; others I like it. I guess it's more like a like/hate relationship. Anyway, I just had an intense dream in the last 15 minutes before my alarm went off. I'm not quite sure what it was about, but I think mine and my family's lives were at stake. It was one of those dreams that you need to rest after dreaming. This is wierd. I've never thought about putting a dream on my blog before. Sometimes I have really crazy dreams, but last night they were just stressful. Maybe that's what happens when you don't sleep enough (like last night): your body revolts and gives you bad dreams...

Anyways, I can't say this has been the most interesting or inspiring of blogs, but I wanted to say that I had a date on Sunday night, and it was fun, and if you link to pilgrimx's site on the right-hand side, you'll see that he thought it was fun too. And also, I am heading out to Atlanta tonight to have someone else's turkey. Hooray for Lauren Marshall!

A purpose in the work

2005-11-20T01:35:00.000-05:00

I feel like my music-work is coming to fruition. My cd is by no means complete, but part of its purpose is already being fulfilled. Rick (my "recording manager") burned five of my semi-completed songs to a cd today, after our recording session. I got to play the songs for my friends, and I know they were relating to some of the aspects in the songs, and being caused to think, and perhaps think differently. That is my goal! I want my community to hear and relate and think as a result of hearing my songs. This is not the first time this has happened, as others have heard my songs before, but it seems like I am getting more accomplished.

Also, something else happened today, which was cool, but I'm not going to write about it yet.

Once there was a man from LipBalm Land

2005-11-16T21:27:00.000-05:00

Once there was a man from LipBalm Land
He arrived at my door cramped in a can
Once released from his cell
The neighbors will tell
He partied till dawn like a man

3 cheers for 3M!

Grace, carries a world on her hips...

2005-11-15T23:41:00.000-05:00

Grace and discipline
Grace or discipline
Grace and/or discipline
Can you have your cake and eat it too?
Can you gather around you and be encouraged by people of like mind?

I do love U2...

What I learned from my Exotic Disease

2005-11-14T22:12:00.000-05:00

There's nothing like it:
Life
The simple things
The complex
The just plain fun things
You don't miss it
Till it's gone:
Your health--
A huge factor
In your Life
Busyness is for the pending sick ones
Stop and enjoy Life while you have your health

Anger is a subtle thing

2005-11-11T19:13:00.000-05:00

I don't think of myself as an angry person
Alas, I once didn't think of myself as an emotional person
I have since proved myself otherwise.
There is something in my life now which occasions my anger to show itself
It lays dormant for a few days, or weeks,
But starts to eat parasitically at the rest of my thought-time
It lends to me certain attitudes
Which develop into habits I haven’t thought through
Subtle.

How do those Kenyans do it?

2005-10-31T10:20:00.000-05:00

The verdict was most definitely malaria. After being hospitalized for five days, they finally let me out yesterday, but I have a couple of weeks before I actually feel normal. That's a whole month worth of sickness! And Kenyans get this all the time! How do they live their normal lives? Anyways, thanks for the prayers and the visits (for those of you in the area). I didn't know how many friends I had until I got sick. It's kind of like when people die, everyone says nice things about them, and you realize how much people cared for you, except you can't cuz your dead. Well, I'm glad I got to find out before I died :)

Malaria?

2005-10-25T18:02:00.000-04:00

So, I might have malaria. They can't figure out what's wrong with me, so finally my mom decided to come be with me and fight the doctors and look up stuff online. We'll see. That would be just peachy. I go to the doctor tomorrow to find out. Hopefully they'll have some answers. On the bright side, the last record of people dying in the US from malaria was in 1995, and all six of them waited a very long time to get treatment. I think I won't die, yet. But I am still left at home to ponder the finer things of life...

For starters, I think the word "devotions" and words "quiet time" are a bit stuffy. Personally, I haven't had one in two weeks. Gasp! I'm actually not sure myself how I feel about that, coming from my evangelical background. What does spending time with Jesus look like? I think it's gotta be some concentrated time with him, but it can't be a certain quota. And, what about all the other time in my life? Is that not spending time with Jesus also?

Musical roots

2005-10-21T19:01:00.000-04:00

Yep, this is one of my less philosophical blogs tonight. As you can see, this is where the family's musical talent comes from. Behold, my grandpa on the saw! (That's my dad on the piano behind him, but everybody plays the piano, you know?) Grandpa lives in California, and was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. He's still doing fairly well, but no one knows how long he's got to live. This picture was taken last Christmas when we went out to see them.

What style is your theology?

2005-10-19T21:51:00.000-04:00

You know what irks me? It's when people let their style preference guide their theology. (Before I get much farther, I have to say that this is probably true of me in some areas, but if that is so, please, friends, point it out to me.) It's like the rock-music-with-drums-equals-the-devil mentality never left. I'm not saying that mentality is still prevalent in the Christian community at large today, but there are other mentalities. For instance, out-of-the-box music: anything that is not streamlined Christian radio or Chris Tomlin-ish in sound, or anything that is not words put together in a fashion that we are used to hearing (ie: cliche). At the sound of this music, we sometimes get confused and think that it is sinful music. We are judging music by our personal tastes, people, and while that is okay to do if you are judging it and claiming that you don't like it and don't want to listen to it but it is okay if others listen to it, it is NOT okay if you are judging it and claiming that you don't like it because it is sinful and God will have none of it. That is criticizing some artists whom God has chosen to make/write music. As a writer, I have recently had my work criticized. Now, I don't take criticism well (what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...), but I could take this, because it was simply a matter of opinion (and I knew the person cared about me). But, imagine someone not liking your work because he/she claimed that it was sinful?

Sickie

2005-10-16T15:32:00.000-04:00

Today I am sick. I've had a fever for the past three nights, with last night's getting up to record high 102.6. It's wierd, though, because I've been fine during the day. I even went recording yesterday, and everything seemed fine. It's kind of freaky. Maybe I have like a disease or something. I sat with this guy on one of my plane rides home, and I ate some of his sweet bread. You know how your mom always told you not to accept food from strangers? Well, maybe that's why I'm sick. Oh well, I just hope I'm well enough to go to work tomorrow.

Josh Garrels

2005-10-15T10:55:00.000-04:00

Hey, I saw this guy in concert last night in Columbia. He is very different from any other Christian artist I've heard. I bought his cd. Check him out at his website: www.joshgarrels.com

Coincidental Meeting

2005-10-14T01:40:00.000-04:00

I was talking with someone at the Emerging conference I went to this week (maybe you're now reading my blog), and they told me about the artist Sufjan Stevens. Well, I looked him up one morning in my hotel room, but the wi-fi was a bit too slow to actually listen to him, so I just listened to the first 14 seconds of his song like 4 times.

On the way home to Columbia today, I had a layover in Atlanta, and I met a guy attached to an ipod (of which I was extremely jealous), and he is an actor/musician type. On a whim I asked him if he had heard of Sufjan, because he seemed like he would be into that kind of indie original music. He was like, "Yeah, actually, I have some of his stuff on my ipod; do you wanna listen?" Too cool. His name was Colin Smith, and I'll probably never see him again, but we had a good chat about the evils of the music industry, and the vision that artists should be allowed to create the art that is within them, instead of the art that their producers think they should formulate. By the way, I really like what I've heard of Sufjan. Anyone know any other indie artists in the same vein? Ever heard of Iron & Wine? That was another one he introduced me to.

Anyways, the emerging conference was amazing. I needed to be there, and to chase thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head for a while. I have a lot of thinking and conversing to do.

Back in the dorms

2005-09-21T02:07:00.000-04:00

Tonight I am sleeping in good old Walker 1 again. It's been a while. For a minute, sitting in Laura's room, I almost missed studying. And then reality overcame me, and I realized how much I DIDN'T miss studying. It's funny though how smells and seeing things is so much reminding me of when I used to live here. I think it's really the camaraderie of this place that I miss. But then again, I would never get anything done here. I would talk with people forever. I really am looking forward to having my own place someday... I guess I'm getting old and boring.

Recording artist!

2005-09-17T22:00:00.000-04:00

Hey, today I went to visit my friend Rick Castleman, whom I had a class with last year at CIU. He attends a church in Lexington and has agreed to let me use the "recording studio" of his church office to record my first ever cd in! So, today I was checking out the place, and seeing what Rick could do with my vocals and guitar/keyboard with ProTools. I am very excited to get some stuff down. I'm starting next weekend. The best part about this is that I'm getting the experience for free! So, it may be a while before it's done, but at least it's in the works. I've been talking about doing a cd for a while, so I'm glad I'm finally doing it. If I can finish off two songs that I'm working on, I can make it a 10-song cd. I've always wanted to do cds of songs that make sense together (like have a theme), so I might try to still shoot for that, or I might make an exception, because I didn't write these songs with that intention. They're really just songs from my life experiences. I guess you could call my style folk rock. I would compare my style to that of Sarah McGlaughlin, Bebo Norman/Andrew Peterson - ish. So, I am very excited to get going on that.

I am also attending Gateway Baptist tomorrow for the first Sunday of what I hope to be many Sundays. I'm excited about getting the chance to be on their worship team.

Before the clocks kept time...

2005-09-07T22:09:00.000-04:00

So, I was thinking today: who ever decided to have days and call them Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday? (Oh, yeah, God did.) But still, I think there needs to be a little chaos in this order, to liven things up a bit. We have put the days in an unbreakable order, and called 365 days a year (which God did not do, by the way), and then we divided all those days up into 24 hours of 60 minutes each. We decided that you are supposed to give your body energy by consuming edible products at three times in the day: breakfast, lunch, and dinner (and, if you're lucky, snack and dessert too). Why are we so freakin organized?? Sorry, I'm not really upset at the world--just questioning things. Anyways, I guess I'm not so much going anywhere with this, other than the fact that it is very freeing to think there is no rule of godliness I am breaking if I choose to eat dinner at a wierd time or not at all, or if I decide that I want to take God's Sunday on Wednesday, or if I decide that 367 days ago was still in my mind's timeframe of a year. This has been spastic thoughts with Genevieve...

Argh.

2005-09-03T04:25:00.000-04:00

I wanted to write tonight, but I'm too tired to write about what I wanted to write about. I forgot what I wanted to say. Maybe I'll write this weekend sometime. I'm going to the wedding of my friendses Chris and Alaina. Labor Day approaches...

A glimpse into my Summer

2005-08-31T23:00:00.000-04:00

These are two of my Kenya girls: Noel on the left, me in the middle, and Alicia on the right. Really, we're all very serious people...

Sucked in to the machine

2005-08-31T22:51:00.000-04:00

I had two people on staff at CIU tell me today that once you start working for the school, you get sucked in and you could be there a while, and you get piled with stuff. I can see it's true; my boss Mark would be prime example no. 1. My friend Val told me that most people working at the school end up doing the job of at least two men. I said, "Not me!", and she said, "Just wait; next year you'll see." I guess I'm okay with the piling stuff; I work pretty well under pressure and I know when I need to go home. But it's the next year part that I started thinking about. I don't know if I'll be here next year. I don't want to get tied down to CIU. I mean, I love the place and all, but I don't think I need to be there for the next 5 or more years. I don't know what I'll be doing next year. I'm going to look into Pioneers and Proclaim once I get a steady 40 hrs/week of work. I'm also going to look a little more at grad schools. Sidenote: You know, though, I might get sucked into Gateway, now that I will be going there. I guess I'm just afraid that if I don't intentionally try to get out of the Columbia area, I'll just stay here, and there's already so many people here in ministry. There are so many needs elsewhere; BUT if you always go somewhere because there is a need, you would have to learn how to be in more than one place at one time, because there are needs everywhere. Maybe God wants me in Columbia for a while (I hope not). Anyways, I'm here for the time being, and I really want it to be a time of training. I really want to learn relationships this year, and get trained in the church, and get trained at my jobs doing various things which may come in handy someday...

Okay, so this blog looks like I just puked my plans (or rather non-plans) out on a page, but that's just the way my brain thinks.

Fender Passport Systems and Lingerie Parties

2005-08-27T02:25:00.000-04:00

You may be wondering what these two things have to do with each other. Well, they were both a part of my day today. This morning, at work, we got a new Fender Passport portable sound system. It's pretty sweet. We'll probably use it a lot. This evening, I went to a lingerie party for a friend of mine. I hope that's not what my next 5-10 years look like: always going to other peoples' lingerie parties and never having my own. Anyways, enough about clothing that cover less than half as much as regular clothing and cost twice as much as regular clothing, which covers twice as much bodily area.

So, as far as an esoteric thought for the day goes, let's try this one: I'm wondering about church. Where do you draw the line between being fed and feeding others? I've been going to a church which for years has been for me of the latter kind. It has been a place where I have been able to get involved in ministry (and even some leadership-type ministry), and feed others. I have been overfed at CIU, and have, in turn, dumped (overflowed would probably be the politically correct, euphemistic, Christianese word to use) that into my ministry at church, so to speak. Now, I am still lingering at CIU (as some of us tend to do), but my feeding there will be a bit downsized, and my fellowship will look vastly different. I am considering changing churches partly for this reason. My major dilemma is that I do not want to start going to a new church because I selfishly am not getting what I want out of the church which I am now at. My desire is to be elsewhere, and so I guess I need to look at the reasons behind that desire. Okay, so you probably don't want to hear my continuing rambling about this subject. But I do think it's a big decision, since I've been with the church for four years, and I hate to abandon things. I just want to be a part of something that's moving--a group of people where God is obviously working.

Losing my sanctification

2005-08-24T21:10:00.000-04:00

This summer, a friend of mine said that if his vehicle was giving him so much trouble, then ownership of such a vehicle might be the end of his sanctification. Well, if there was ever to be a material object over which my sanctification could be lost--If there was ever a way to get to me and frustrate me the most--it would be through my computer. I haven't even been using my own computer to post these last couple of days, because it's about to go kaput. Thank goodness for sharing roommates. So, okay, I'm not serious about losing my sanctification...

Anyways, something real to write about: I think it's interesting how much the OT talks about God as a lover. I'm not just talking about the Song of Solomon (whatever your theological view on that book may be). I'm talking about all the times God calls himself the husband of Israel, and all the times he calls the nation a prostitute because of their unfaithfulness to him. God doesn't feel our sin like an unbiased judge feels (or doesn't feel) the pain of the victim in the case he is presiding over; God feels our sin like a lover who has been cheated on.

Somehow my mind is trying to connect this with my previous nights' conversation about being pursued. The pursuit of a husband is perhaps different than the pursuit of a man not yet married; or is it? I think the purpose of the pursuit is a bit different. A man not yet married is trying to get the woman to marry him; a man married is trying to maintain the relationship. But I think the reason the woman wants to be pursued is the same. A woman not yet married needs to know that she is wantable, and a woman who is married needs to know that she is still wantable. So, in connecting these two conversations, I think that I need to look at how God pursues us. He pursues us for two different reasons. First, he pursues us in order to bring us to himself (the time when we first know him, and give our lives to his control); and then, he pursues us in order to maintain the relationship (as we continue to surrender different things that come up in our lives to him). But the reason we want to be pursued is the same--we want to know that someone cares about us deeply. So, how does God pursue us? How does he pursue me? Maybe I'll find out tomorrow...

The Princess-Locked-in-a-Tower Syndrome

2005-08-23T23:33:00.000-04:00

Like a princess locked up in a tower by her parents, most of us of the female gender long to have a dashing prince rescue us from the daily drudgery of our life. We want a man who will pursue us hard-core--stopping at nothing (not fire-breathing dragons, not fire-breathing fathers wielding shotguns).

In modern-day this looks a little different. We want a man who will take initiative in a relationship, someone who will romantically pursue us and convince us that we are wanted.

I want to know WHY.

Why do I want some man to pursue me? Is it something that has been instilled into my head and heart as long as I have watched Disney movies? Or is it something that has been instilled deep within my soul since the time mankind was created? Okay, maybe that's getting too serious. Anyways, I just started questioning that for the first time today. I think that there is a little of both aspects in my desire for being pursued. God created me with a need to feel wanted. Now, I have found that even in great relationships with men, this need cannot be fully met. I think only Jesus can make me feel totally wantable (yes, you probably haven't ever seen that word before; don't worry, I haven't either). But there is the desire for a man to give me a glimpse of Jesus pursuing me. What does that look like? Does that always look like taking initiative? (Have I been at CIU too long because I am asking this question?) Is that just selfish: me always wanting a man to break the ice? Or, is that biblical: me letting him "lead"?

All I know is that Jesus does pursue me, and communicates that to me in a way I can understand. I need Him to do that; I need Him to feel wantable--to feel valuable.

Hello there

2005-08-23T23:19:00.000-04:00

Well, this is my first post on a blog totally devoted to whatever I want to write. It's not for the purpose of a class or an internship, or anything else. It's just a place where my thoughts can go on the trails they've been waiting to all day but couldn't because I had about ten things on my list to do, and usually have only gotten through a few of them. Anyways, enough said about my philosophy of this blog page--just write!